Now look here chaps! If you’re new to this online bingo malarkey, you’ve come to the right place. But also, if you’re one of those players that have been around a while you will know that there are so many of these new-fangled bingo sites that it can all be a bit of a mine field out there. Which operations are as clunky as a twenty year old Jeep’s gearbox, and which are as smooth as a fresh off the production line Rolls Royce? Which bingo sites are truly new and worth a visit, and which are just lazy counterfeits of what has gone before? Well we’re going to tell you!
And you can believe us! We know this, because we’ve sent our top undercover chappies to all these locations to do a bit of a recce. Should be top secret of course – careless talk costs lives and all that! But we’re going to publish the lot! Every site our agents discover, we’ll spill the beans so you’ll have all the inside information. We’ve discovered their networks and uncovered their software developers. Even their fiendishly complicated terms and conditions have been de-coded.
All this means that you can visit these online bingo sites having that little bit of extra expert knowledge. And we’ll be honest too. We won’t bother recommending sites we think are rubbish, because then you won’t jolly well trust us next time will you? So Keep Calm and carry on in the firm knowledge that we will be your reliable allies along the way…
Our undercover operatives are going to check all the important intelligence information you need to know before going on active service. Deposit options? Check. Minimum deposit amounts? Check. Identification requirements? Check. Passport? The war’s over, you probably won’t be needing that.
Even the legal stuff. We only recommend sites licensed by those jolly reliable fellows at the UK Gambling Commission, which is authorised by Her Majesty’s Government. That way, you won’t get caught out by any of those dodgy unregistered johnnies. The UK Gambling Commission does authorise some overseas operations, in places like Gibraltar and Malta, so we’ll make sure we only report on safe territories, and exclude any areas under suspicion. Roger that.
But it’s not only the laws, rules and regulations we report on. Our reconnaissance team will be looking at the style and efficiency of online bingo sites too. Is it a classic, no nonsense “does what it says on the tin” type of operation? Or is it a whizz-bang neon and strobe lit flashing banner type of affair? Does the actual design of the site match the title, or is it just a cut and paste job from a previous design with a new name on top? Our top agents will tell all, so that you can choose a site that suits you.
And that’s not all. Our clandestine co-operatives will find out which sites are truly worth your attention and money, so you can avoid sites by those inferior and incompetent designers that just haven’t made the effort. You don’t want to waste time with those. Only the best will do.
So all in all, you can rest assured that with Keep Calm Bingo, you can carry on playing splendid bingo with lashings of jolly good value entertainment. The sites we recommend will warm the cockles of your heart with the best of great British bingo. Cor blimey yes! Over and out.